How to Make Confident Decisions
Why do you find decision making difficult? If you’re like most people, it’s because you
don’t trust your own judgement and/or are busy trying not to upset others. However,
there is a loosely systematic approach you can take to regain confidence in your
decisions.
Like many people who seek coaching, Mary was about to make a significant change – in
her case, to end her relationship of many years. She fully realised the consequences but
was feeling quite stuck, unable to determine the right thing for her in the circumstances.
She had an inkling as to what she would do, but couldn’t justify it, logically. She was
guided through this process that helped her assess her situation.
There are two aspects to decision making – one is intellectual, the other is intuitive.
In case you are thinking one is more valid than the other, not using both is half-brained,
literally.
Using the intellectual aspect you can:-
- Make a list of statements outlining the pros and cons around your dilemma
- Discard anything containing the word ‘should’
- Discard anything that is entirely for the benefit of someone other than you (there’s
got to be at least something in it for you or it won’t be sustainable)
Applying the intuitive aspect you can:-
- Read each statement aloud and notice how your stomach feels about it
- Discard anything that makes you feel uneasy
Are we getting any closer? A question: is it the right time? ‘When the timing is right, the
outcome is assured,’ as Florence Scovel Shinn wrote. If it’s not the right time, no matter
how hard you try to change things, they won’t work out.
Nearly there! Another question: If you had an absolutely iron-clad guarantee of success,
what would you do? ‘Choose ye this day whom ye shall serve – fear or faith.’ Make the
choice to base your decisions on the pursuit of success, not the fear of failure - back
yourself as a winner.
Finally, if you’re still unsure, do something... anything... preferably the most daring,
courageous and outrageous thing you can manage. Be bold! It will precipitate change in
one direction or another, and then all will become clear.
In fact, Mary had already made up her mind - she just needed to talk it through with an
unbiased party who would listen and ask appropriate questions. The only person who
she needed to approve of her decision was her. When she was quite clear, she was able
to trust that she’d considered everything, even if she ended up back where she’d started– at least she knew she’d covered all her options.
The torment of indecision can be overcome by getting very clear about your motives,
what you really, really want. If you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place,
going through this process of elimination may help you come to a confident decision.
Once you’ve decided something, the doing becomes easy, relatively. For when you’ve
decided, remarkably, the Universe will support and empower your decision, making it
happen quicker than you thought possible.
“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has power, genius, and
magic in it. Begin it now.” — Goethe
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